Its been a few days since I've been on here. This mornings weight was 235. In two days it will be a month since I've had my band and on that day I will get my first fill! I'm really excited about that! I have almost felt like I haven't even had the surgery because I can pretty much eat whatever I want and a larger portion than what I feel like I should be able to eat after having WLS. I'm struggling with food addiction. Don't laugh, its a real thing. I want to eat even if I'm not hungry, and that is insane. But eating has been just a way of life for me for 25 years. It's going to take a while to correct it. But at least I've identified that I am addicted to food, now I just have to work on it. I've ate all kinds of crazy stuff over the past month that, if I didn't I would have lost more weight lol. I've had Oreos, cake, cookies, brownies, bread, pasta, potatoes, cornbread stuffing and the list goes on. That's partially why I haven't been blogging. I've been too ashamed to admit what I've been doing. :( Almost two weeks ago when I went for my two week check up at my surgeons office my weight was 239! Thats 9lbs gained in two weeks. I think it was probably mostly water weight since I started back on regular foods. But man, talk about the feeling of a kick in the gut! That was very discouraging. Today was the first time I stepped on a scale since then. I have been avoiding it. I've been nervous about what the number would be since I haven't been eating the best. But I got on it this morning and was at 235 so I've lost 4 lbs since that appointment. Hopefully, I will still show a loss when I go to the dr on thursday (two days from now). I'm really hoping that a fill will help me curb my hunger. I have also been doing other things to keep my self occupied. My husband got me a new camera for Christmas and so I have been doing Photo Shoots and editing pictures. I have always loved photography, I've just never had a decent enough camera to do anything with. Now I do, and I would LOVE to make a career out of it! I guess we will see! I just want to stress to anyone who is in the same situation I am in now. Don't give up! I'm not going to. This is not a race to the finish line, this is a life changing thing that will take the rest of your life. :)
~Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
-Denis Waitley
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