Smaller Clothes.. :)

My pants are getting too big :) I love saying that. Even my husband has noticed and told me it's time to get some new jeans. I went to Old Navy and could fit really nicely into a 20 and just a LITTLE uncomfortable into an 18. Considering I started out in a 24, that's nice to me. This morning the shirt I put in was actually a little loose on me when it used to be almost skin tight. Now that my clothes are starting to hang off of me, I can tell I've lost some weight. So that is nice motivation to keep going! My first doctors visit I was at 254, this morning I weighed in at 227. So thats 27 lbs. I can't wait to go see my Ob/Gyn (who ever says that?!) so he can see I've lost almost 30 lbs since I've last seen him at my 6 weeks post op from having Scarlett. BUT, I dont know when I'm going to see him so maybe I'll lose even more by then! My goal was to be at 230 by the new year, but I've already past that! Yay! Doing the happy dance! When I got my first fill on 11/16 the scale at the dr said 234, so thats 7lbs down in not even 2 whole weeks! WOW! I'm loving my band! :)

Living Low Carb

Well, I have PCOS which means I am insulin resistant. Which means no matter what I have to live the Low Carb lifestyle to lose weight. I'm sure the band will help me  but either way if I dont eat low carb I dont think I would lose much weight. I just have to accept that that is the hand i was delt and I have to deal with it. So, for the past few days I have been doing great. Once you go about a week with very low carbs the cravings usually stop. Although last night I was a bad, bad girl and ate a bag of Reese's Pieces at the move theater. But, other than that i have been doing great! I'm at 231 on the scale this morning. I was 208 when I got pregnant with Scarlett and only 192 when I got pregnant with Serenity. So I have 23 lbs until I get where I was getting pregnant with Scarlett and at that time I was starting to look better and feel better about myself. When Serenity was a year old I got down to about 185 and I was in a 12- 14 and was looking pretty good and feeling great..so those are my short term goals. I would really love to get down to about 150. That would be my ultimate goal but I dont know if I will ever see that. I have a large frame so I just dont know if I'm built to be that small. I am wondering if I would like sickly at that weight. I have a big behind..and my butt is probably one asset (no pun intended) that will always be my biggest feature. So, those are my thoughts today. I hope everyone is having a great day today :)

1 Month Bandiversary ;)

Its been one month since I had my surgery. Over this month I think I have learned alot. My weight today is 233.5 which it was 230.2 the day of surgery, 239 two weeks post op. So I have gained and lost but for the month I am still up about 3 lbs since surgery. But thats ok, considering everything I have eaten! (See previous post!) I go for my first fill today and I FINALLY get to go grocery shopping tomorrow since its payday Friday! I have been looking up some great low carb recipes and I'm looking forward to trying them out! The best thing about low carb is I can eat cheese. If I couldn't eat cheese I would probably die lol. <See, that's my food addiction coming out again. I have to realize that I need food to live, i dont need to live to eat food. This is going to be a battle, I can already tell. BUT, I have a cruise at the end of July for mine and my husbands 3rd Anniversary and I am DETERMINED to be able to wear an actual bathing suit! It doesn't necessarily have to be a two piece but I'm not going to be swimming in shorts and a t-shirt like I did this summer! That was ridiculous. Because I was too fat to be caught dead in a bathing suit! I started this journey at 251 lbs so, down almost 20 lbs. I'm looking forward to being down another 20! lol  I go for my first fill today. I woke up at about 6am and had a total of 4 soft scrambled eggs. Now I'm just drinking water until 12:30. My fill is at 2:30pm and I was told not to eat 4 hours before and not to drink 2 hours before my fill. Tonight I think I will be having Broccoli and Cheese soup. My husband is on night shift so at least I dont have to cook for him! I'll update tomorrow with how the fill went! :)

First Fill Coming Up..

Its been a few days since I've been on here. This mornings weight was 235. In two days it will be a month since I've had my band and on that day I will get my first fill! I'm really excited about that! I have almost felt like I haven't even had the surgery because I can pretty much eat whatever I want and a larger portion than what I feel like I should be able to eat after having WLS. I'm struggling with food addiction. Don't laugh, its a real thing. I want to eat even if I'm not hungry, and that is insane. But eating has been just a way of life for me for 25 years. It's going to take a while to correct it. But at least I've identified that I am addicted to food, now I just have to work on it. I've ate all kinds of crazy stuff over the past month that, if I didn't I would have lost more weight lol. I've had Oreos, cake, cookies, brownies, bread, pasta, potatoes, cornbread stuffing and the list goes on. That's partially why I haven't been blogging. I've been too ashamed to admit what I've been doing. :( Almost two weeks ago when I went for my two week check up at my surgeons office my weight was 239! Thats 9lbs gained in two weeks. I think it was probably mostly water weight since I started back on regular foods. But man, talk about the feeling of a kick in the gut! That was very discouraging. Today was the first time I stepped on a scale since then. I have been avoiding it. I've been nervous about what the number would be since I haven't been eating the best. But I got on it this morning and was at  235 so I've lost 4 lbs since that appointment. Hopefully, I will still show a loss when I go to the dr on thursday (two days from now). I'm really hoping that a fill will help me curb my hunger. I have also been doing other things to keep my self occupied. My husband got me a new camera for Christmas and so I have been doing Photo Shoots and editing pictures. I have always loved photography, I've just never had a decent enough camera to do anything with. Now I do, and I would LOVE to make a career out of it! I guess we will see! I just want to stress to anyone who is in the same situation I am in now. Don't give up! I'm not going to. This is not a race to the finish line, this is a life changing thing that will take the rest of your life.  :)

~Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
-Denis Waitley